In 2015 MoonShine Ink, a publication in Lake Tahoe, CA wrote an excellent piece called “Imperfection is Perfection” about this month’s Cielo House #RecoveryRockstar, Sage. It’s a really inspiring article, which you should definitely check out, at the following link.
I recently caught up with Sage via email to get an update on how things are going for her and this is what she wanted to share with all of you!
I’m doing really well, I’m back in school at University of Nevada, Reno and living in an apartment in Reno. If I could add anything to the article, it would be about getting back on your feet after a relapse, and how it’s not the end of the world and it can happen to the best of us. If I learned anything from that experience, it’s that it’s important to put your health first because the rest of life will be there waiting for you when you get back! And, now I know that it’s really REALLY important to reach out for help before it becomes critical. You don’t need to be really sick to get help!
In regards to the other medical stuff, it’s gotten a lot better! I think knowing how much engaging in my eating disorder would affect my health is really keeping me away from it. I don’t want to be sick, I just want to be normal college kid and in order to achieve that, I have to take care of myself!
I think recovery might be a lifelong thing for me, and I’m okay with that, because I got my life back. I no longer cry when I see a sandwich. Honestly I just think yum. Of course I still get ED thoughts on occasion, but I’m able to push them away.
A couple months ago as a request from my therapist I started looking in the mirror and telling myself I was beautiful. At first I felt stupid and silly. I never believed in that kind of thing and kind of thought it was pointless. But as time went on, I started to actually believe it. I started to see less of what I didn’t like and more of what I did. My eyes no longer zoned in on my thighs or my stomach as soon as I looked in the mirror. I started seeing me as a whole, and that’s the me that I like. Because who the hell says “I like that girl because she has nice thighs”…. No one says that.
As I write this, I’m sitting at my desk eating a burrito and I have no idea how many calories are in it and truthfully I don’t care. I’m pretty proud of that.
And we are very proud of you, Sage! Sage points out the importance of attending to our health, how that is the cornerstone for all other aspects of our lives. Also, she reminds us how recovery has its ups and downs, and that’s OK. Keep at it and you too will be a Recovery Rockstar!